Confetti Landmine

Felix, 33, of Baltimore writes:

"My brain explodes at the thought of owning such a marvelous item! I am not, generally speaking, in favor of having guns in the house, but I did buy one the other day and I use it regularly, pointing it to foreheads both familiar and strange, in order to help convince others that purchasing this amazing product will not only save their lives in the future, but will save their lives within the next couple seconds as well. I’ve learned that background checks can be avoided, which is an important lesson for anybody wishing to purchase a gun in order to convince others that they are missing out on the most important product to ever hit the market. The most important product to ever appear online for consumers to purchase with their credit cards. The most important product worthy of so many Styrofoam peanuts and layers of packing tape and serial numbers and cardboard dust flying in the air as I tear and tear to get another one, just one more for my collection, so extensive, the largest collection of this fine product you ever did see. Come to my house and I will show you my collection of this amazing product and then I will of course point my gun to your head and you will then get on my computer and you will order your first of this amazing product to start your own collection. I am not receiving any money or any extra amazing products from this amazing product’s manufacturer as reward for my extra efforts at convincing others via gunpoint to order this amazing product—I simply believe in this product just that much. I want to believe. I want to believe in something. And that something is without a doubt this amazing product. Thank you, Sharon, for all you’ve done. But you can leave now. I have my collection. Thank you."

Tiffani, 20, of Granville writes:

"Just ordered another three! Can’t get enough! A quick word of advice: Avoid placing the landmines near an abandoned monastery, a one-sided karate tournament, or a value-priced airport motel. There are just some places that shouldn’t make sense. . ."

Conrad, 16, of Ithaca wonders:

"Any truth to the rumor that one out of eight fails to make sense upon detonation?"

Kristin, 39, of Santa Barbara writes:

"Badmitten was so boring. Our summer barbecues just weren't fun anymore, until we got the confetti landmine. Now the kids have a blast running around the backyard, trying to guess where the landmines are. The explosions are so much fun! It's eve a great gag for unexpecting friends."

Bobbie, 67, of Tucson writes:

"Mine’s a dream catcher!"

Confetti Landmine

1 Landmine kit: $69.99