Voici quelques
statistiques récentes tirées du Petit Bouquet
(le premier quotidien électronique francophone):
LE PETIT BOUQUET
Le quotidien électronique de l'actualité française.
No 440 - Paris, le mardi 16 février 1999.
"- Les Français veulent du bon pain.
> LE CHIFFRE ......
85 (%), c'est la part de Français qui se disent prêts à parcourir 500 mètres
supplémentaires ou à payer plus cher pour avoir... du bon pain. Reste que les 35.000
boulangeries-pâtisseries tricolores ont quelque souci à se faire : de plus en plus
exigeants, les amateurs de mie et de croûte sont ainsi 39,5% à voir dans le pain
d'aujourd'hui est un produit «banal, fade, blanc, régulier et sans goût». Pire, la
sacro-sainte baguette n'a plus la cote auprès des jeunes : 47% des 18-24 ans préfèrent
les céréales, jugées «plus savoureuses» ou «plus saines». Et seulement 70% de ces
derniers disent aimer que le pain qu'ils achètent soit fabriqué par le boulanger
lui-même. Contre 83% de la population totale. Une histoire de tranches d'âge ! "
Mais le pain n'est pas toujours vu sous une lumière aussi faborable. De fait,
même les sociétés d'assurance aux Etats-Unis commence à se poser de sérieuses
questions sur le pain. Voici un document qui signale quelques-uns des danger posés
par cet aliment néfaste:
"Bread is Dangerous
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Important Warning for those who have been drawn unsuspectingly into the use of
bread:
- More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
- Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below
average on standardized tests.
- In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life
expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many
women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza
ravaged whole nations.
- More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
- Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as
little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats
more bread than that in one month!
- Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer,
Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
- Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given
only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
- Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to
"harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
- Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent
water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this
absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
- Newborn babies can choke on bread.
- Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of
heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
- Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant
scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
- No sale of bread to minors.
- A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots
and bumper stickers.
- A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might
associate with bread.
- No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may
be used to promote bread usage.
- The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
Contributed by: John
Who works for an insurance company, which depends solely on statistics."
[Le morceau ci-dessus a été distribué sur la liste BLAGUES-L que vous
trouverez
au site hilarant Vent de Laitue .]
Retour à la page Saucissons Notre pain quotidien.
Retour à la table des Saucissons
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aux pages de Michael Lastinger.
Voici quelques
statistiques récentes tirées du Petit Bouquet
(le premier quotidien électronique francophone):