Legend parodies

As with the numerology message in another part of this section, the "next attack" warning legend quickly became the subject of parody as well. All of these, it should be noted, came from one folklore listserve or another (the first was forwarded to me by my mother, who read it on the FOLKLORE listserve; the second was posted to the NEWFOLK listserve; and the third was posted to the Ohio State University folklore listserve). As such, I have no idea how widely these legend parodies circulated (as opposed to the numerology parody, which I received from a personal, not a professional, source).

At any rate, just as the numerology parody sought to quell public hysteria by mocking the serious version that had circulated earlier, so these legends clearly parody the plot and themes of the legend cycle recounted in that part of this section. The first and second, in particular, riff on the British versions of the legend, in which the kind soul who helps out a "man of Arabic appearance" (the exact wording of both versions) is rewarded with a warning. In both cases, the warning turns out to be not as momentous as expected. The first ( a British variant) uses the same setting of the London Underground as in the "original" legend, and the second is a virtual American "translation" of the British parody, with a few localized changes and some much stronger (more "American"?) language.

The third, meanwhile, is more typical of the kind of generic urban legend parodies that have circulated previously, in that it incorporates elements of several older legends. This particular one connects the contemporary terrorist themes to older legendary "threats" such as flushed alligators and exploding toilet bowls. The sender, folklorist Bill Ellis, adds a helpful note at the end of the message.

Interestingly, while the more serious legends circulating after 9/11 had a rather xenophobic tone to them, the parodies seem to turn that on its ear: not only does the "man of Arabic appearance" turn out to be kind, but he turns out to be more focused on the mundane trials of everyday British or American life than the fearful "natives." Note too that these appeared in just a week or two after the serious legends began appearing--a pretty quick turnaround (quicker than the time lapse between the serious and parodic numerology messages).

Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2001 14:51:12 -0400 (EDT)
From: Joyce Hathaway
To: Rosemary Hathaway <rvhatha@bentley.unco.edu>
Subject: Re: another warning (fwd)

Hi Rosemary,

I like this one.

Mom

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2001 11:26:39 -0500
From: Mark Glazer
To: FOLKLORE@listserv.tamu.edu
Subject: Re: another warning (fwd)

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2001 03:22:02 -0400 (EDT)
From: Llewtrah
To: FOLKLORE@listserv.tamu.edu
Subject: Re: another warning

Warnings have gone from suspicious to taking the mickey. Received at work
Wednesday. All location references are central London (Northern Line is a
subway line)

This was something I felt I ought to share. For the good of humanity. I got
this from a friend of a friend who apparently received it from his son's
teacher's brother-in-law.

Yesterday I was on the Underground travelling on the Northern line. A man of
Arabic-appearance got off the train and I noticed that he had left his bag
behind. I grabbed the bag and ran after him, caught up with him at the top of
the escalator and handed him back his bag. He was extremely grateful to me
and reached into his bag which appeared to contain large bundles of
banknotes. He offered me a reward, but I refused.

He looked round, made sure nobody was looking and whispered to me: "I can
never repay your kindness, but I will try to with a word of advice for you.
Stay away from Aberdeen Steak Houses."

I was terrified. "Is there going to be an attack?" I whispered.

"No, sir" he whispered back "I went there yesterday evening - the food was
dreadful and the dessert selection extremely limited."

Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2001 13:56:54 -0500
Reply-To: folkserv@lists.acs.ohio-state.edu
From: "Margaret A. Mills"
Subject: Fwd: Fw: [psl@acm.org: Constant Vigilance]

Yesterday my Aunt's friend's daughter was on the train traveling from
Boston to Philadelphia. A man of Arabic appearance got off the train, and she
noticed that he had left his bag behind. She grabbed the bag and ran
after him, caught up with him at the top of the stairs, and handed him back his
bag.

He was extremely grateful and reached into his bag, which appeared to
contain large bundles of cash. He offered her a reward, but she refused.

So the man looked around, made sure nobody was looking, and whispered to
her: "I can never repay your kindness, but I will try to, with a word of
advice for you. Stay away from The Hard Rock Cafe."

She was terrified. "Is there going to be an attack?" she whispered.

"No," he whispered back, "I went there yesterday evening -- the food was
shitty and the waitress was fucking rude."

Date: Sat, 3 Nov 2001 11:55:50 -0500
From: Bill Ellis
Subject: Frequently forwarded e-mail shouldn't vary textually but...
To: NEWFOLK@LISTSERV.TEMPLE.EDU

Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2001 07:47:17 -0600

DO NOT go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who uses the toilet on the 28th will be bitten on the ass by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of terrorists are using 'planted' alligators, planning to rise up into unsuspecting Americans' toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their business.

I usually don't send emails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend who's drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators, so it must be true.

Date: Thu, 01 Nov 2001 19:52:09 -0500

Reprinted from an impeccable internet source:

Don't go to the bathroom on November 6th, which is Election Day in many places. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot has been planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 6th will be bitten you-know-where by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite you when you sit to do your business.

I usually don't send e-mails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife has a hairdresser whose husband buys hot dogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines shoes for a friend who's drug dealer sells to a custodian in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked. So it must be true!

[A caution not to discard frequently-forwarded e-mail because "it must be the same as the one I got before." The process of textual variation hasn't quite been killed by the "forward" button. The slippage of the date reminds me of the "don't go to London (Birmingham, etc.) next Thursday" element in the "dropped wallet" UL that was so popular over there. In my opinion, the continued popularity of items like this suggests continued concern/irritation at the never-ending series of warning coming out of the govt. about "credible warnings of attacks this week" vs. nuclear plants, San Francisco bridges, etc. I'm especially bemused at the flip-flopping of euphemisms in the second sentence. --BE]

Bill Ellis
Associate Professor, English and American Studies
76 University Drive, Penn State Hazleton, Hazleton, PA 18202