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Victor Chew
English 102, Section 041
Dr. Tom Sloane
Critique: Contents for Mara Dornblazer’s Song Analysis
October 15, 2002I read the lyrics to the song before reading your
analysis so that I will not have the tendency to juxtapose my view
with yours should I have read your essay first. Fortunately, I found
out later that our views do not differ much from each other. Since
we are thinking almost in the same wavelength, I hope that the comments
that I have included will help you in revising your paper and with
a bit of luck, provide you with some insights to further improve
your already brilliant paper.
You did a good job in the introduction by stating the fact that
the song does not have any specific setting or character but the
interpretation of the song depends solely on the listeners. This
is a very clever method as it establishes your stand to the readers
that your interpretation of the song is purely personal. I think
it worked quite well because nobody can accuse you for wrong interpretation.
Nonetheless, there are some parts of your essay where I feel that
the interpretation is pretty vague. For example, you interpreted
“goodnight, goodnight, look at that moon shine so bright…”
as “a person is thinking or physically with someone when they
are going to sleep.” Do you think you might have stretched
the interpretation a little too far? Personally, I cannot find the
relation between the quote you used and your interpretation. Perhaps,
you can clarify that for me during the online chat session. Another
one is found in the fifth paragraph where you claimed that “Tonight
and forever, be watching over you/ Oh, tonight and forever, be watching
over you…” meant the “undeniable love” of the
singer to the sleeper. I think you need to elaborate a little to
explain to the reader why you think it meant what you said. I guess
it can be quite obvious to you because you know this song well and
can relate to it but a reader who knows nothing about the song might
not be able to identify with that fact.
There is one minor thorn in your essay where I think you should
take notice. At the end of the introduction, you claimed that “the
song focuses more on the lyrics than the actual music, which demonstrates
the genuine depth of the lyrics.” However, you went on and
described the way the song was sung in the fourth paragraph. I find
this approach unjustified because it sort of robbed the credibility
off your own interpretation. This is just what I feel and perhaps
you might want to consider omitting the latter statement if you
agree with me.
I have to agree with you that the lyrics of the song is not very
diverse but you did a good job in squeezing the meaning out of it
by relating it to your own personal experiences. You also included
adequate direct quotations and the flow of your essay is pretty
smooth. To conclude, I would say that you just need to keep in mind
that your audiences did not go through the same experience as you
did thus you have to explain more elaborately why you thought the
verses meant the way you interpreted them. Apart from that, you
really have nothing to worry about.
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