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Dr. Brady's Review of the Basics of Grammar, Punctuation, and Style

Active Voice and Passive Voice
Apostrophes and Possession
Editing
Comma Splices, also known as Fused Sentences
The Major Uses of the Comma
Key-Word Editing
Parallel Structure
Tone and E-mail Etiquette
Using Verbs as Verbs
Using Specific, Concrete Language

ACTIVE VOICE --or-- WHO DOES WHAT?

"Active voice" refers to a verb form that makes the subject--or actor--of

the sentence very clear.

Who does what?

The staff completed their report yesterday.

The subject--or actor--performs the action of the sentence. Ordinarily,

active voice sentences give you a stronger, more forceful style. To use

the active voice, you generally want to do two things:

1. Put the actor first

2. Avoid forms of the verb to be (am, is, are, was, were, been),

especially when they are used in combination with other verbs.

PASSIVE VOICE --or-- WHAT IS DONE (BY WHOM)

Passive voice hides the actor--the person or thing who performs the

action--by either placing the actor at the end of the sentence or by

leaving the actor out altogether.

What is done by whom?

The executive summary was written by the staff members.

What is done (by whom?)

A tuition increase is anticipated.

REVISING FOR ACTIVE VOICE:

To change a sentence from passive to active voice, try asking yourself:

Who did (or does) what?

As you answer the question, you will probably find yourself using active voice.

APOSTROPHES & POSSESSION

When to add -'s

1. If the noun does not end in -s, add-'s.

EXAMPLE: Roy managed to climb out on the driver's side.

Thank you for refunding the children's money.

2. If the noun is singular and ends in -s, add 's.

EXAMPLE: Lois's sister spent the last year in India.

When to add only an apostrophe:

If the noun is plural and ends in -s, add only an apostrophe.

EXAMPLE: Both diplomats' briefcases were stolen.

SPECIAL CASE: ITS versus IT'S

Apostrophes are also used to signal places where a word has been shortened.

For instance, the apostrophe in "didn't" signals the missing "o" of "did

not."

The apostrophe in "IT'S" signals the missing "i" of the phrase "it is."

EXAMPLE: "It's easy to use apostrophes."

(or, "It is easy to use apostrophes.")

If you cannot substitute the phrase IT IS for IT'S, you don't use the

apostrophe.

ITS (no apostrophe) signals possession.

EXAMPLE: The company met its quota.

Try the simple test. Could you substitute "it is"? (Hmmm. "The company met

it is quota"????) Nope. It doesn't work. In this instance, "its" is

possessive.

PROFESSIONAL EDITING ADVICE

The following is an excerpt from an interesting article on editing under

deadline: "Editing a Moving Target" (1997).

The author, Mary Stoughton, is an editing, writing, and indexing division manager at the Editorial Eye, Inc. (EEI), a company that specializes in technical and business communication and publication. She is the author of _Substance & Style: Instruction & Practice in Copyediting_ and teaches EEI's "Intensive Introduction to Copyediting" and "Improving Editing Skills" workshops. You can read the full article if you have time:http://www.eeicom.com/eye/moving.html

In the meantime, you might find Stoughton's list of basic editorial flaws interesting. The following material is quoted:

"Take a look at the following list of basic editorial flaws. In theory, everything matters, but different people would prioritize these things differently. Try numbering them on the basis of their importance to you.

•Content

•A wrong total in a table of numbers

•An illogical conclusion

•Redundancy

•Typos

•An error in the spelling of your company president's name

•A word that's spelled correctly but is the wrong word

•Grammatical problems

•Subject-verb disagreements

•Misplaced modifiers

•Unnecessary passive voice

•Format

•Too much white space

•Paragraphs that seem endless

•Stylistic errors

•Inconsistent number style or capitalization

•Abbreviations defined more than once in a chapter or section,

or not defined at all"

Stoughton explains that audience, purpose, and time-frame have a lot do with setting priorities and determining the appropriate level of edit.

COMMA SPLICES (also known as "FUSED" SENTENCES)

A lot of people over-use commas. For instance, many writers join two

sentences with a comma instead of a period or a semi-colon. This often

happens when the writer wants to show that two ideas are related. Once you

know how to look for trouble spots, this problem, usually called a "comma

splice," is easy to correct.

TRANSITIONAL PHRASES OFTEN MARK TROUBLE SPOTS

Be aware of words that mark transitions or connections. If a complete

sentence follows the transition word, then you should see a semi-colon or a

period right before the transition word. Here's a list of some common

transitional phrases.

also

in addition

now

as a result

in fact

of course

besides

in other words

on the other hand

consequently

in the first place

otherwise

finally

meanwhile

still

for example

moreover

then

for instance

nevertheless

therefore

furthermore

thus

however

EXAMPLE: Comma splices are easy to miss, thus editors should check

carefully for them.

CORRECTION: Comma splices are easy to miss. Editors should check

carefully for them.

OR:

Because comma splices are easy to miss, editors should check carefully

for them.

REVIEWING THE MAJOR USES OF THE COMMA

1. Before "and," "but," "or," "nor" when you want to join two complete

sentences.

EXAMPLE: I truly believe that we are one of the most hard working

and efficient operations in the University, *but* there is always

a better way to do something.

2. After an introductory clause or phrase.

For instance, if you START a sentence with After, Although,

As soon as, Before, Because, If, Since, Unless, Until, or When,

you have a comma in your future.

3. After a transitional expression that serves as a bridge between

sentences or parts of sentences. Transitional phrases include:

after all, as a matter of fact, as a result, at any rate,

at the same time, even so, for example, for instance, in addition,

in conclusion, in fact, in other words, in the first place,

on the contrary, on the other hand . . . .

4. Between all items in a series.

EXAMPLE: This total includes the cost of land, buildings,

equipment, library books, and construction.

5. To set off useful but non-essential information.

Think of the commas like razor cuts: Can you peel away the material

between the commas and still have a sentence that makes sense?

If so, then you are using the commas to set off useful but

non-essential information.

EXAMPLE: A declining trend in this ratio means that other sources

of revenue, mainly tuition and fees, will have to be increased

and/or costs decreased.

FINE-TUNING FOR CONCISE PROSE: KEY-WORD EDITING

It's important to perform "key-word editing" on your prose.

Here is a summary on "Key Word Editing", an approach developed by Dr. L.

Flower at CMU) to decrease wordiness and achieve concise prose.

******************** KEY WORD EDITING ******************************

Key word editing simply asks you to focus on the important subjects and

verbs in a sentence.

1. Identify the actors and the actions they perform.

2. Use the actors as subjects.

3. Rewrite the actions as active verbs. (State who does what)

4. Rebuild the sentence.

EXAMPLE:

It is important to have the ability to prevent a student from continuing to

utilize services that add charges to the student's account when that

student is seriously delinquent in paying for the outstanding student

charges. (36 words)

Key actors: Students

University systems?

Key actions: Delinquent accounts

outstanding charges

prevent new charges

use of student services

New sentence:

Students with delinquent accounts should not be able to charge

additional services to their accounts. (15 words)

This sentence is not quite right. It doesn't say anything about preventing

charges. Let's try another revision:

We need a system to stop students with delinquent accounts from

using services that will increase their debt. (18 words)

The second revision is better.

PARALLEL STRUCTURE

If you say two lines are parallel, you generally mean that they run in the

same direction. They are an equal distance apart at every point.

[Note: I'm not sure that the format will transfer to e-mail, but the

following is meant to be an illustration of parallel lines.]

<------------------>

If you say that two sentences are parallel, you generally mean that they

follow the same syntactic pattern. Single words are balanced with single

words, phrases with phrases, clauses with clauses. Words or phrases "line

up" at specific points.

What is written without effort in general

<------------------------>

is read without pleasure. --Samuel Johnson

<----------------------->

Symmetrical form is essential for effective writing--partly because it is a

way to organize and structure ideas. When ideas appear together for a

specific purpose, they should each be presented in a similar (or parallel)

manner.

EXAMPLE

In the following pair of sentences, the ideas are the same, but the second

sentence is stronger. It presents similar phrases in a similar way.

We have three stated goals: to increase production, to expand

our market, and recruiting skilled employees.

We have three stated goals: to increase production, to expand

our market, and to recruit skilled employees.

If one idea is presented differently from the others, it weakens the

emphasis given to each phrase in the series. The inconsistency may also

distract the reader's attention away from the message.

TONE AND E-MAIL ETIQUETTE

Take a look at the following five messages. What TONE or IMPRESSION does

each convey?

1. I am checking to see if my account is working. Could you please

respond when you have a chance? Thank you.

[Name and e-mail address on a separate line]

2. Dear Dr. Brady: Just checking in. Please add me to the

discussion list. [Name and e-mail address on a separate line]

3. HEY. I AM IN YOUR CLASS. ADD ME TO THE LIST. [No signature]

4. Please add me to the discussion list for English 208.

I look forward to hearing from you. [Name on a separate line.]

5. Professor Brady, my email is now activated, so could you add me

to the class discussion list? Many thanks.

Sincerely,

[Name]

All of these messages met the first request to send me an e-mail, but the

third example comes across as a bit abrupt, and the use of all capital

letters is unusual. (Capitals are usually reserved for emphasis or to make

an e-mail reply stand out from the original text.)

I'm sure that writer #3 wasn't trying to be rude; maybe he or she is brand

new to e-mail and is still getting the hang of it; maybe she or he was in a

hurry; maybe he or she was trying to be light and informal. No matter what

this writer's intent, the message offers an excellent reminder of how

powerful language, context, and conventions can be in conveying a tone and

impression.

E-mail is an odd medium that is at once more informal than other types of

written communication and more complex because it does not automatically

provide the visual cues of face-to-face communication (a smile, a frown,

etc.), nor does it provide audio cues that you get on the telephone (the

inflections that signal questions, amusement, frustration, etc.). E-mail

forces its users to think in new ways about the power (and limits) of

*written* language.

You may want to look at the following web-based guides to e-mail

etiquette:

A quick list of tips from the Univ. of Michigan:

http://www.us.itd.umich.edu/~doc/Digest/0496/feat04side.html

A comprehensive discussion of e-mail conventions by Gene Wicker, Jr.:

http://www.iwillfollow.com/email.htm

USE VERBS AS VERBS:

To make your words more simple and direct, avoid turning verbs into nouns

(also known as "nominalizations").

You can often spot nominalizations by looking for words that end in -ion,

-ment, -al. ("Nominalization" is one example.)

EXAMPLES:

The first column lists some verbs masquerading as nouns. The second column

gives the real verbs.

Nominalization ---> nominalize

approval ----> approve

failure ----> fail

evaluation ----> evaluate

refusal ----> refuse

discussion ---> discuss

investigation ---> investigate

discovery ----> discover

expectation ----> expect

USING SPECIFIC, CONCRETE LANGUAGE

Although there's nothing wrong with a rich vocabulary, most writing aims

for clarity. With clarity in mind, avoid abstract words and phrases. In

general, choose simple, down-to-earth language.

FROM INFLATED -----> TO SIMPLE

Currently ---> Now

Initiate ----> Start

Indicate ----> Show

Finalize ----> Finish

Expedite ----> Speed up, move along

Utilize -----> Use

Position ----> Place

FROM JARGON -----------> TO CLEAR, DIRECT ENGLISH

Implement -------------> Carry out

Viable ----------------> Practical, workable

Interact --------------> Discuss, meet, work with

Optimum ---------------> Best, largest possible

To impact -------------> To affect, to do to

Resultful -------------> Effective, achieve results

Meaningful ------------> Real, actual, tangible

Judgmentally ----------> I think

Input -----------------> Facts, information, data

Output ----------------> Results

Sub-optimal -----------> Less than ideal

Proactive -------------> Active

Parameters/perimeter---> Limits

The problem with jargon or inflated diction becomes clear when you read a

whole cluster of these words and phrases. Here's an example:

JARGON: It is believed that with the parameters that have been imposed by

your management, a viable program may be hard to evolve. If our

program is to impact the consumer to the optimum, meaningful interaction

with your management may be necessitated. Contact me to initiate action.